For 6 years + 5 years of schools, I've never worn uniform that was bought from a shop. My mother sewn it from bits and and according to my preferences. No pocket, seamed neck and fab cotton. Everything was hand-picked and hand-made. The traditional sewing machine that needs both of feet to move it. Not easy though.
Rain or shine, poor or rich, sick or healthy, busy or not..every year, at the beginning of school, two sets of baju & kain kurung, freshly iron and made with love.If it is not love, I don't know what else.
This is how cool my mum is.
O God, I miss her everything.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
First One.
-10 Zulhijjah 1433-
For my future anak2, (if i have later)
this story is for u, (if u found this la)
if i cant make it,
throughout your beautiful journey,
when i'm no longer in this world.
do you know ur Uwan has already leaving me almost two years (i don't remember actually because i choose to forget it) by now.
I choose to remember only the good and happy memories with her. How I jaga her at the hospitals, how I jaga her at rumah, my last moments with her, our last stories together. Among my siblings, i think I'm the closest to her, since i spent more time with her.
Being the last girl surely tells how much manja I am.
Although i was in the boarding school for 5 years, it doesn't really felt like it. i still remember at the registration day, how i vomitted in the car (not sure why is that?), how i dragged her(your uwan) to my room which is at 3rd level,knowing her knees are not in good condition, but still she climbed it with all her smiles and then asking my seniors to take care of me. i still remember, the first day ,first morning i'm at the school, i called her only to hear me crying. i'm not sure if your uwan cry also because i was busy weeping myself, but i'm pretty sure i heard her laughing. she asked me whether i sleep well last nite, i replied ''OK" of course it is a lie. i'm sobbing under the pillow until my seniors worried what had happened to me. of course i didnt tell ur Uwan. Your atok and uwan always visits me during weekends, bringing foods and money. I was the happiest girl in the world when they visits me because they are super nice to my friends. I remember there is nothing like "little food" they bring along, always a feast for us. If it is holiday, your atok and uwan surely will fetch me from school, rarely they came alone. The warmth from your uwan's smiles melts me away tho i'm super tired back from school. but of course i dont tell this to your uwan. At home for the weekend, only the best food being served. i remember being asked "nak makan lauk apa hari ni? nak masak apa? nak gulai ape?". my only answer would be "ntahla, tak kesah ape ape". so not helping answers. your uwan knows that i love fish so much that she called me "kucing kepala itam". i love your wan's masak asam that i think i cannot get the taste of it anymore.nobody cooks that dish like your wan cook. i tried to make it by myself (at the age of 22) but still nothing works.
thats for now,
i want you to know that i love you as much i love my mother.
love and xx,
your mum.
For my future anak2, (if i have later)
this story is for u, (if u found this la)
if i cant make it,
throughout your beautiful journey,
when i'm no longer in this world.
do you know ur Uwan has already leaving me almost two years (i don't remember actually because i choose to forget it) by now.
I choose to remember only the good and happy memories with her. How I jaga her at the hospitals, how I jaga her at rumah, my last moments with her, our last stories together. Among my siblings, i think I'm the closest to her, since i spent more time with her.
Being the last girl surely tells how much manja I am.
Although i was in the boarding school for 5 years, it doesn't really felt like it. i still remember at the registration day, how i vomitted in the car (not sure why is that?), how i dragged her(your uwan) to my room which is at 3rd level,knowing her knees are not in good condition, but still she climbed it with all her smiles and then asking my seniors to take care of me. i still remember, the first day ,first morning i'm at the school, i called her only to hear me crying. i'm not sure if your uwan cry also because i was busy weeping myself, but i'm pretty sure i heard her laughing. she asked me whether i sleep well last nite, i replied ''OK" of course it is a lie. i'm sobbing under the pillow until my seniors worried what had happened to me. of course i didnt tell ur Uwan. Your atok and uwan always visits me during weekends, bringing foods and money. I was the happiest girl in the world when they visits me because they are super nice to my friends. I remember there is nothing like "little food" they bring along, always a feast for us. If it is holiday, your atok and uwan surely will fetch me from school, rarely they came alone. The warmth from your uwan's smiles melts me away tho i'm super tired back from school. but of course i dont tell this to your uwan. At home for the weekend, only the best food being served. i remember being asked "nak makan lauk apa hari ni? nak masak apa? nak gulai ape?". my only answer would be "ntahla, tak kesah ape ape". so not helping answers. your uwan knows that i love fish so much that she called me "kucing kepala itam". i love your wan's masak asam that i think i cannot get the taste of it anymore.nobody cooks that dish like your wan cook. i tried to make it by myself (at the age of 22) but still nothing works.
thats for now,
i want you to know that i love you as much i love my mother.
love and xx,
your mum.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Aunty
now i know that making kuah kacang for pecal sayor doesnt have any related narrative with making sambal kacang*sobssobs*
Came to know from my aunty, to make kuah kacang,you just need to fry everything (kacang,lada,belacan yadayada) then blender it -.- tadaaaa.simple then obviously DONE.
Came to know from my aunty, to make kuah kacang,you just need to fry everything (kacang,lada,belacan yadayada) then blender it -.- tadaaaa.simple then obviously DONE.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
ABAH.
Awal pagi lepas Subuh, aku keluar bilik tengok abah tgh bancuh kopi dia. tung tang tung tang bunyik sudu besi lawan dengan kole steel dia. Topik yang sangat common dlam institusi rumah aku, " hari ni nak makan ape?" haha.setiap pagi harihari mcm ni,dah plan nk masak ape utk tgh hari.kalau ramai2 blik lagi meriah, bnyak menu suggestions nye.celik mate,nk mencekik je masing masing.
Abah tanya, nak makan pe ye agak2nye hari ni. aku pun dgn lame excuses sejak azali lagi pon jawab la.ntah.suka ati abah la nk beli lauk ape.kuangkuang.memang 100% tak membantu. so,abah pon dgn bijaknye tanye aku " er,ko pandai buat kuah kacang tak? bole kite rebus sayo buat pecal " *mukadaddyshiningshining* haha. aku pun dgn confident nye jawab la, "eh, senang je tu.name pun kuah kacang, kacang je la. buat mcm sambal kan tp cuma msukkan kacang je la" menangis mak dengar jwapan aku nih :S abah pun bgi respond positive dgn jawapan " ha ah, mcm buat smba tumis la tu kot". takpe, ni abah g beli sayor, nak guna sayur ape?"- aku pon jawab la, " kangkong,timun yadaa yadaa yadaa yaadaa and last skali siap pesan, abah jangan lupa beli kacang pulak," ""- ofcourse la makcik oiii.abah yang bgi idea, takkan dia pulak yang lupa.
the moment abah keluar rumah nak pergi kebun, akuu terus on laptop crik cik goo :))) ngehngeh.harusla la aku klentong abah dengan menyatakan aku pandai buat kuah kacang.aku pon google resepi buat kuah kacang.pastu, bajet terrrorism, aku tngok sepintas laluu je resepi tu.eleh,senang je.takyah tengok resep pon aku da tau buat.then terus smbung online benda tak berfaedah.tralalala.
hampir tengahari, aku pon msuk kitcen *eheh*. siang sayor,ikan dan lain lain lagi. straight to the point, time nak buat kuah kacang, abah kata "okbye".kehkeh.tipu la tu. abah kata " okay la kakk, abah nak rehat,g baring". watttt?! dalam hati aku je la. " ha, okayy". cehhh.aku igt abah nk guide aku buat kuah kacang,rupenye tidak. alamak,ape2 aje lah.aku pun terus masak berpaksikan imigisasi aku.haha.pungpangpingpongpong *tadaaaaaahh* siap pon kuah kacang.aku rase, erm,bole tahan la.layak dipanggil kuah kacang.
dah siap celor segala sayur mayur, aku pon presentkan atas plate oval arcopal yang cukup indah.gerenti kene sound dgn abah ni.abah tak suka guna pinggan fancy2 ni,lagilagi yang dri dlam lemari.haha
today, abah makan awal dri biasa-tak saba nk test pecal aku la tu *slap myself* tiba saat merevealkan kuah kacang aku, abah komplen " issh,pekat benoo tak kuah ni?" aku tengok then, " ha ah la bah, ape nak buat ni?" innocently. sekali lagi daddy dgn idea bernas dan jitu nya, "kita tambah air nak?" terus pak aji ni capai cerek air dia ( memang cerek besi ni ada label 'abah punya' haha) curah air dlam masterpiece aku.nganganga.aku pun pasrah smbil kacau kuah kacang tu bgi rata dengan air.aku rasa, ermmmm,sodap jugak cmpr air ni..hilang sikit masin dia! haha.kantoi masak guna nafsu,tak bole bezakan masin dengan tak masin.
akhirnya, jadi jugak la kuah kacang masterpiece aku dengan sentuhan akhir abah! Yeayy.
moral of the story : bagus jugak kadang2 tipu siiiikit aja untuk coverline/face/story.
p/s: i ponteng 1 class today. sorry and i love u prof.haja!
Abah tanya, nak makan pe ye agak2nye hari ni. aku pun dgn lame excuses sejak azali lagi pon jawab la.ntah.suka ati abah la nk beli lauk ape.kuangkuang.memang 100% tak membantu. so,abah pon dgn bijaknye tanye aku " er,ko pandai buat kuah kacang tak? bole kite rebus sayo buat pecal " *mukadaddyshiningshining* haha. aku pun dgn confident nye jawab la, "eh, senang je tu.name pun kuah kacang, kacang je la. buat mcm sambal kan tp cuma msukkan kacang je la" menangis mak dengar jwapan aku nih :S abah pun bgi respond positive dgn jawapan " ha ah, mcm buat smba tumis la tu kot". takpe, ni abah g beli sayor, nak guna sayur ape?"- aku pon jawab la, " kangkong,timun yadaa yadaa yadaa yaadaa and last skali siap pesan, abah jangan lupa beli kacang pulak," ""- ofcourse la makcik oiii.abah yang bgi idea, takkan dia pulak yang lupa.
the moment abah keluar rumah nak pergi kebun, akuu terus on laptop crik cik goo :))) ngehngeh.harusla la aku klentong abah dengan menyatakan aku pandai buat kuah kacang.aku pon google resepi buat kuah kacang.pastu, bajet terrrorism, aku tngok sepintas laluu je resepi tu.eleh,senang je.takyah tengok resep pon aku da tau buat.then terus smbung online benda tak berfaedah.tralalala.
hampir tengahari, aku pon msuk kitcen *eheh*. siang sayor,ikan dan lain lain lagi. straight to the point, time nak buat kuah kacang, abah kata "okbye".kehkeh.tipu la tu. abah kata " okay la kakk, abah nak rehat,g baring". watttt?! dalam hati aku je la. " ha, okayy". cehhh.aku igt abah nk guide aku buat kuah kacang,rupenye tidak. alamak,ape2 aje lah.aku pun terus masak berpaksikan imigisasi aku.haha.pungpangpingpongpong *tadaaaaaahh* siap pon kuah kacang.aku rase, erm,bole tahan la.layak dipanggil kuah kacang.
dah siap celor segala sayur mayur, aku pon presentkan atas plate oval arcopal yang cukup indah.gerenti kene sound dgn abah ni.abah tak suka guna pinggan fancy2 ni,lagilagi yang dri dlam lemari.haha
today, abah makan awal dri biasa-tak saba nk test pecal aku la tu *slap myself* tiba saat merevealkan kuah kacang aku, abah komplen " issh,pekat benoo tak kuah ni?" aku tengok then, " ha ah la bah, ape nak buat ni?" innocently. sekali lagi daddy dgn idea bernas dan jitu nya, "kita tambah air nak?" terus pak aji ni capai cerek air dia ( memang cerek besi ni ada label 'abah punya' haha) curah air dlam masterpiece aku.nganganga.aku pun pasrah smbil kacau kuah kacang tu bgi rata dengan air.aku rasa, ermmmm,sodap jugak cmpr air ni..hilang sikit masin dia! haha.kantoi masak guna nafsu,tak bole bezakan masin dengan tak masin.
akhirnya, jadi jugak la kuah kacang masterpiece aku dengan sentuhan akhir abah! Yeayy.
moral of the story : bagus jugak kadang2 tipu siiiikit aja untuk coverline/face/story.
p/s: i ponteng 1 class today. sorry and i love u prof.haja!
Monday, December 5, 2011
rindu lagi
rindu jangan kau lahirkan dari mulut
kalau kau tak tahu berapa ukurnya di hati
rindu jangan kau hitung
andai tak sanggup kau lihat hasilnya
rindu jangan kau tafsirkan
kalau kau sendiri kurang maksud
rinduku memang tak ku sebut
dan ukurnya memang tak terzahir
rinduku memang infiniti
tak tergambar dalam digit bari ini
rindu ini memang tak termakna
andai ku rasa.
sungguh rinduku ini memang terasa.
(Tuhan, sampaikan rindu bersama cinta ku ini
kepada nya)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
freeeeze moment 1.
freeze ataupun beku. there a some moments that i wish it would freeze fer ever.jadi, memang tak boleh la kan.jadi, i'll froze it here.
location : mahallah halimatus saadiah ( glemer,halimah @ hally )
time : sem 3,2010-2011.tgh rembang panas blik dari kelas.
acts : aku, makcik cleaner plus rakan2 beliau.
nak pendekkan cerite (mmg pendek pon), aku baru balik kelas berpeluh2,ilmu masih penuh d dada, lapar tak terkira time tu, naik la bilik dulu.aku tak pasti kenape iqa jo tak ada dlam scene.masakan aku pergi kelas sendiri dan iqa jo ponteng? oh,lupe freeze pasal tuh.
dah pun tengahari, jadi makcik2 cleaner pun sedang berehat bercanda berborak mesra di tepi tangga mungkin hal ehwal negeri seberang siapa tahu.jadi,satu cabaran untuk aku naikke tangga dengan kadar sopan dan mulia.maklumla,awak ni kan pemalu lagi berbudi bahasa. mungkin di situ makcik cleaner tu perasan dengan keluarbiasaan aku lalu menghamburkan kata-kata tak kesat kepada rakan seperjuangan beliau " la,tepi tepi.ini anak saya mahu lalu".
lalu terbelah la tangga tu oleh rakan2 beliau untuk aku lalui.woah.
mane freeze moment nye?
"la,tepi tepi.ini anak saya mahu lalu"
weh,apahal makcik cleaner punya cakap pon ko nak freeze?
tak dapat nak gambarkan perasaan freeze aku masa tu.setaman bunga tiba2 kembang mekar harum mewangi dalam hati aku.
masa tu, perasaan bukan antara student dengan makcik cleaner tapi lebih kepada perasaan manusia sesama manusia.oh.makcik ni sedar perasan orang2 sekeliling die.okay,tak boleh nak cerita lebih2 nanti cair.
natijah nya disini, berbuat baik sesame manusia sebab tak rugi pun kalo senyum dgn orang2 yang ada dkt sekeliling kita.kalo kite penat2 bekerja,lalu ada orang senuem manis cik adik sayang, lega rasa kan?
dan lagi satu, saya percaya yang kalo kita buat baik sesama insan, pasti dinilai oleh tuhan.maksudnya, tuhan nanti pulak akan hantar orang lain untuk kita, senangkan kerja kita, gembirakan kita.okay,sekian tazkirah jumaat.
notai kakai :
makcik cleaner ni dah aku kenal sejak sem 2,2010 lagi.maybe asek muka aku je lalu depan die time die pick up sampah.haha.kitorang rajin berbalas senyumlah ahai, borak kecil2an.tempoh tak kurang setahun membalas senyum,bertukar kabar menjadikan makcik cleaner ni rasa family bonding.
(p/s)
xtau la makcik ni buat dekat aku je atau sume student blok ef yang lain.but still, is a good deed indeed.
sekian.freeze moment 1.
location : mahallah halimatus saadiah ( glemer,halimah @ hally )
time : sem 3,2010-2011.tgh rembang panas blik dari kelas.
acts : aku, makcik cleaner plus rakan2 beliau.
nak pendekkan cerite (mmg pendek pon), aku baru balik kelas berpeluh2,ilmu masih penuh d dada, lapar tak terkira time tu, naik la bilik dulu.aku tak pasti kenape iqa jo tak ada dlam scene.masakan aku pergi kelas sendiri dan iqa jo ponteng? oh,lupe freeze pasal tuh.
dah pun tengahari, jadi makcik2 cleaner pun sedang berehat bercanda berborak mesra di tepi tangga mungkin hal ehwal negeri seberang siapa tahu.jadi,satu cabaran untuk aku naikke tangga dengan kadar sopan dan mulia.maklumla,awak ni kan pemalu lagi berbudi bahasa. mungkin di situ makcik cleaner tu perasan dengan keluarbiasaan aku lalu menghamburkan kata-kata tak kesat kepada rakan seperjuangan beliau " la,tepi tepi.ini anak saya mahu lalu".
lalu terbelah la tangga tu oleh rakan2 beliau untuk aku lalui.woah.
mane freeze moment nye?
"la,tepi tepi.ini anak saya mahu lalu"
weh,apahal makcik cleaner punya cakap pon ko nak freeze?
tak dapat nak gambarkan perasaan freeze aku masa tu.setaman bunga tiba2 kembang mekar harum mewangi dalam hati aku.
masa tu, perasaan bukan antara student dengan makcik cleaner tapi lebih kepada perasaan manusia sesama manusia.oh.makcik ni sedar perasan orang2 sekeliling die.okay,tak boleh nak cerita lebih2 nanti cair.
natijah nya disini, berbuat baik sesame manusia sebab tak rugi pun kalo senyum dgn orang2 yang ada dkt sekeliling kita.kalo kite penat2 bekerja,lalu ada orang senuem manis cik adik sayang, lega rasa kan?
dan lagi satu, saya percaya yang kalo kita buat baik sesama insan, pasti dinilai oleh tuhan.maksudnya, tuhan nanti pulak akan hantar orang lain untuk kita, senangkan kerja kita, gembirakan kita.okay,sekian tazkirah jumaat.
notai kakai :
makcik cleaner ni dah aku kenal sejak sem 2,2010 lagi.maybe asek muka aku je lalu depan die time die pick up sampah.haha.kitorang rajin berbalas senyumlah ahai, borak kecil2an.tempoh tak kurang setahun membalas senyum,bertukar kabar menjadikan makcik cleaner ni rasa family bonding.
(p/s)
xtau la makcik ni buat dekat aku je atau sume student blok ef yang lain.but still, is a good deed indeed.
sekian.freeze moment 1.
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